Those Golden Shoes

Ecclesiastes 3:14-15 (MSG)
14 I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear. 

15 Whatever was, is. Whatever will be, is. That's how it always is with God.

I was sharing these verses with a friend the other day and realized how impactful they were. It’s not our time, but it’s God’s time. This story is an illustration of how we shouldn’t think more highly of ourselves than we ought to because of our status or worldly possessions. 

Back in the day, we all played flag football every Thursday. Rick and I were best friends in high school and still are to this day. He had one seat at the very back of the school bus and I had the other. We orchestrated things on the bus from this vantage point. We were not bullies but knew the status and responsibility we had as being the older boys in the home. If we saw something that was out of line, we were quick to act and bring correction. Looking back, I wonder what the other boys must have thought about how we behaved on those Thursdays.

On Thursdays, Rick and I didn’t talk; we just rode home from school on the bus. We played flag football on separate teams. He played on the “farm” team, and I played on the home team. The farm team always recruited the tougher and stronger guys. They were called the farm team because they worked on the farm. By the way, farm work paid seven dollars a week and was one of the highest paying jobs around. The farm team was the best, but I wasn’t on it. Don’t get me wrong, I was as good as any of those guys, but the farm thing just wasn’t me.

When we rode home on Thursdays, the bus was always quiet. This was the day that Rick and I would taunt each other and tell each other exactly what was going to happen on the field that day. You get the point. We were very specific in our language and our action. The other boys would just listen in. If you are wondering who was driving our school bus, it was another boy from the home. We had our own bus, and it was just us.

Then, one day, Rick crosses the line. We are going back and forth; it is a very heated conversation that day and we are almost in a fight, screaming back and forth. Suddenly, Rick stands up and picks up his bookbag. The bus driver slams on breaks. As the bus is coming to a stop, I stand up, gripping the back of the seat in front of me. Rick reaches into his bookbag and pulls out a pair of freshly painted football cleats. He screams, “Yeah baby. What’s up? What are you going to do with these bad boys?” He had painted his football cleats gold. Then he declares at the top of his lungs, “Today, these babies are going to fly by you so fast; you ain’t going to see nothing but gold.” Then he starts this taunt of “FTD, FTD baby, FTD, FTD baby.” When we were growing up, there was a flower guy on a TV commercial that wore golden shoes, and he ran really fast from delivery to delivery. Rick decides that if he wears golden shoes, he will be as fast as the FTD guy.

The whole bus bursts out laughing, the driver starts the bus, and we continue home. Rick straps on his golden shoes, still taunting me. He is dead serious about these shoes. What can I say? The man has golden shoes on. I was so ready to get to the field that day. The game starts, and it doesn’t take long for me and Rick to get matched up. He catches a pass and runs down the sideline; he looks at me and points down at his shoes. I head straight for him. When I get within range, I dive and hit him right in the side and send him sailing about twenty feet out of bounds. This is supposed to be flag football, so while we are on the ground, I grab his flag and say, “Got ya, golden boy.” We both get up and realize how stupid we have been and laugh out loud. To this day, we still crack up about the golden shoes.

So, what’s the point of this story? Sometimes our possessions make us think we are something we are not. Things don’t really make us who we are. They paint a picture to others, but when it’s all said and done and the lights go out, who are you?

As the word in Ecclesiastes says, “Whatever was, is. Whatever will be, is.” Put in my vernacular, “It is what it is.” If we would try harder at living a life of truth and not one of golden shoes, we could help each other more. Maybe we could team up and do something for this world, leaving our golden shoes in the closet. Be who God made you to be. Find your destiny and your position in life in Jesus Christ. This life is not about how much stuff we can accumulate and how we model the clothes on our backs and the cars in our driveways. Life is about purpose and destiny. Who are you? Where are you going and how are you going to get there? Are you going to be you or someone with golden shoes? Are you going to be authentic or be a painted-on person?

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Pride & Priority

What do you know to be true in your life? What drives you to make decisions in life? Is it pride or is it priority? 

We all talk about the priorities of our life and how they drive our schedules and dictate our timetables. They tell us when to sit and when to stand, when to go and when to come. One could say that priorities are the driving force in every decision we make. I think this is an accurate statement, but there is a greater force behind each decision we make, and it’s called pride. In some ways, pride enters every decision we make, and whether we like it or not, pride wins more times than we care to admit.

We are all so busy and there seems to be no time left for God. There is no time left for the things in life that really make a difference. There is no time to say, I love you, no time to give a hug, no time to lend a helping hand, and no time to ask a friend if they need to talk about something.

Do we really have that much going on in our lives? If we say God is in control, then why do we have so much to do? Why is our schedule so jam-packed with to do things? One answer may be pride!

I met a lady a few years ago who had seven adopted children, all with special needs. I asked myself, how does she do that? How does she take care of all those children plus come to the lake for a day of fun? I believe she was just proud to be a mom. Her pride was in her children and in doing what, as she said, “God called her to do.” Lisa and I had all we could handle with two healthy girls. I believe this lady’s pride was in the right place. That’s just me looking from the outside in. Things are not always what they seem when it comes to pride.

Pride is masked easily; it can be covered quickly with a word, and it can be made invisible to everyone on the outside by counter actions of fill-ins. That’s when we feel guilty about our behavior, and instead of calling it pride, we mask it by filling our schedule with good works to justify our former actions. You are the only one who truly knows the truth and the motive behind every choice you make. Is it a priority or is it pride that makes you decide what choice to make?

We do a great deal of things in the name of Jesus just because of pride. When God is using us mightily, the test is always there to see where our pride lies. The moment we step in front of God and elevate ourselves above Him, we find ourselves back where we started and must start all over again. That is pride. You should be proud of the place you hold in the kingdom and the way God has brought you through trials, but be careful in bringing the priority of pride with you.

What role does priority play when it comes to pride? You tell me! Is it a priority that your place in the community is noticed? Is it a priority that you hide who you really are from others? Is it a priority that people only see the Jesus side of you? We spend a great deal of time and energy building ourselves up to who we think we are and who God expects us to be.

How do you place pride in your life? What priority do you give it? It is your decision. You are the only one in control of your pride. To sum this up, it’s a battle. We all battle priority and pride. The goal is to have pride and priority live together in harmony. While pride is always seeking to elevate self and dictate the priority we place in any circumstance, our goal should be to seek the kingdom of God first.

Pride grows from a lack of setting God’s priorities in our lives. When you want something, pride steps in and has an influence on your decision. An example of that is when you worry about what others will think. If you are overly concerned with the opinion of others, then pride is standing at the door and already has an influence on your decision. Am I saying we should never care what others think? Not at all. Kingdom thinking requires us to ask what God thinks first.

Remember that pride is controlling and seeks self-centered attention, while priority requires you to weigh the significance of an action to find its rightful place in the mix of life’s schedule.

The outlook for priority is to seek first the kingdom of God. When we put God first, pride will play a smaller role in our lives.

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So, What Do You See

We rarely ask our friends or family their opinions on how we could improve our lives. Honestly, we don’t really ask people for advice about our lives unless we know what they are going to say. It is a rare thing to ask friends what they think we should do in a particular circumstance.

We are quick to invite help into our lives when we are in our comfort zone of asking. Take waterskiing, for instance. When I’m skiing, I see and feel the things that I am doing wrong or need to improve on. When I get to the end of the course, I usually ask, “What did you see?” You would not believe the responses I get sometimes. If the person was paying attention, he will be sharp and quick to tell me, “Lean more behind the boat; don’t pull in with your arms; you’re giving up your angle.” The list goes on and on. I won’t always ask. Sometimes I will just look into the boat with a look of help me.

If the person riding in the boat says something like, “Well, I really didn’t see anything,” then I know he may not have been paying attention to my skiing. This is not a problem, by the way. Sometimes, I prefer when people are not watching me; I can stay focused on my task, and that is simply completing the course. Think about that statement just for a minute, “I prefer it when people are not watching so I can just focus on completing the course.”

We don’t like people watching us with the intent of giving us advice. This is especially true with our spiritual lives and our family life.

Has anyone ever told you how to raise your child? I have been told, and my response to them was not Christ-like. Has anyone ever told you, “You're wrong in what you are doing: you are hurting the body of Christ with that attitude, and your sin is causing problems?”

That’s a tough one, but these are statements we don’t often hear. I wonder why that is. I believe it’s the fact that some of us are bound by pride; some bound by embarrassment; and some are bound by fear. We may not want to know what others think about our inner lives. This is a very trusted area, and you shouldn’t go to everyone asking for their advice. Also, be wary of asking people for advice who have put their lives in tiny boxes and think you are wrong if you step outside of those boundaries. Just use wisdom in picking those people you can confide in for counsel.

There is a madness behind this story. I was reading in Jonah the other day and thought about this. This is one of my favorite books in the Bible, and it holds many principles of life. In chapter one, it says, “One day long ago, God's Word came to Jonah, Amittai's son: ‘Up on your feet and on your way to the big city of Nineveh! Preach to them. They're in a bad way and I can't ignore it any longer.’ But Jonah got up and went the other direction to Tarshish, running away from God. He went down to the port of Joppa and found a ship headed for Tarshish. He paid the fare and went on board, joining those going to Tarshish—as far away from God as he could get” (MSG).

What if Jonah had a friend whom he trusted and could have asked, “What do you think about this?” Would the outcome have been any different? Would he still have run from God? I’m not sure what I would have said to Jonah; maybe I would have agreed with him and told him to run because the people in Nineveh were crazy. Maybe I would have said, “Let’s pray and seek God on this; He will confirm this for you and give you the strength you will need in this task.”

The point I am making is in life you can’t always go it alone. God has given you friends for a reason; you may need an extra set of eyes and an extra set of ears for any given circumstance. So, give up that old prideful attitude; give up that spirit of embarrassment; and give up that fear of being told something you don’t want to hear. Remember, you are asking them for a word of advice, and it’s up to you if you want to act on their suggestions. But before you ask anybody for anything, ask God first.

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The Accident

It was a beautiful evening in October, one of those Friday nights I will never forget. I had the task of taking the guys to the movies on that night. Not sure how I ended up with this duty, being only sixteen years old at the boy’s home, but it gave me an opportunity to show some responsibility. Sometimes we drove station wagons, but that night I was driving the big van, a fifteen-passenger Dodge van.

Whiteville was eleven miles from the lake, a straight shot on highway 74-76. I had driven this route many times, taking the guys to the movies. On this particular Friday, I didn't care to stay and watch the movie, so I dropped the boys off and came back to the lake. Not sure why I came back but I did.

Around nine-thirty, I was getting ready to go back to Whiteville to pick up the guys. I knew the movie would end soon. On the way out the door, Bobby and Preston asked if they could ride with me. I said, "Sure, let me make a couple of banana sandwiches to carry with me." I used to love those things.

Heading up highway 74-76, I passed the graveyard and the one-hundred-acre pecan grove with Spanish moss hanging in the trees, which was kind of spooky at night. I passed the sandwich shop that was never open, and then I entered the small town of Hallsboro, right past our high school. 

I had already eaten both sandwiches before getting to Hallsboro, and this was just four miles into the trip. When I passed the high school, I reached down for my seat belt. I had it in my hand and decided that I wasn't going to wear it. I never did, but I had picked it up and was about to latch it, but then said, "Forget it, I don't need that thing." I had glanced at my speedometer, and I was at the perfect speed of forty-five miles an hour. The police were never really bad in that area. I just remember being at that speed and looking at the fingerprinted glass on the instrument panel.

Approaching the intersection of state road 1001 and highway 74-76, everything was great. Then, out of nowhere, a car appeared in my windshield. Everything went into slow motion, almost like a dream. The van went into a tumble after hitting a car that had run the stop sign.
I was ejected out of the tumbling van through the windshield, and I found myself about one-hundred feet from the wreckage. I stood up and wondered into the highway and was making my way down to the hardware store. My body was covered in blood, and I was shaking violently. My destination seemed so far away. I looked over at the van, which was now across the road, and saw people fighting. I didn't know what had happened to Preston or Bobby. I had my eyes fixed on that hardware store. There I felt the arms of a friend come around me, giving me his coat. He told me everything was going to be okay. I was slipping into shock moment by moment. My body was numb to the pain.

The ambulance had arrived, and they ushered me off to the hospital in Whiteville. There they checked me out, and I gave up my banana sandwiches I had eaten earlier. My body realized the pain I was in. They decided to transfer me to Wilmington because my skull was crushed in one place, and I had internal bleeding.

I would spend the next few weeks in the hospital. My face and body were scarred from the wreck. I found out that Preston had taken several hundred stitches, and Bobby had a broken leg. Bobby was also beaten up at the wreck by the family of the girl who was riding in the car I had hit. They didn't know what had happened or whose fault it was. All they knew was their sister was dead. My soul was now scarred by the news of her death. Her brother was in my graduating class. My return to school was extremely difficult, but my friends made it easier. Many of whom thought I had died that night. 

After many years, I still have the scars of this accident; my head is still numb, and my jaw still pops when I talk sometimes. The real scars are much deeper. They are the ones that make me wonder what if? I wonder what if I had left a second or two later? What if I had not made those sandwiches? What if I had reached down and put my seat belt on? Even though I didn't know Jesus Christ at that time, I believe in the total sovereignty of God. God knew then and still knows today what will come my way. He is and always has been in control of life. There are no accidents with God! Do you believe in the sovereignty of God? Who is in control? When trouble is in the air, who do you turn to? When the still voice in your heart says, "Buckle up. Trouble is on the way. Be ready," what is your response?

I didn't listen. I threw it back and said, "I don't need this thing." Years have gone by now, and I understand the providential will of God. Now that I know Jesus Christ, I recognize His still voice. 

Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don't. He reminds me by saying, "Didn't I tell you to buckle up?" Life isn't an easy road, but it can be a road of wondrous journeys and many blessings. One of the greatest joys of my life is the relationships God has allowed me to have with many of you. God has used you to walk with me in trials and in glory. The what ifs in life belong to God. Is there a what if in your life? Give it to the sovereign God who created all things.

1 Peter 1:18-21 (MSG)
“Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ's sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It's because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.”

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Elaine's Pain Chapter Two

Elaine and I continued in our relationship for several more months. Looking back now, I can see that our arguments were never about us but about what was eating at her inside. I knew nothing about her pain, only that I carried pain in my own life. 

So many years have passed, and I miss Elaine from time to time. If you are carrying some deep-rooted pain, and if you have experienced a horrific, life-changing event, please get help. These events can lead to death and destruction. They are the events that have such a hold on you that it's hard to function in the world. They are the quiet secrets inside of us we never reveal to anyone. They will kill you if you let them.  

Proverbs 16:6 (MSG) says, “Guilt is banished through love and truth.” Condemnation is not from God; what happened in the past doesn't have to steer your life to a tragic end. As I told a great friend this past weekend, speaking truth sets free a condemning spirit; this is a spirit that will ultimately wreck your life. We must choose to speak in love and truth; every word that comes out of our mouths should be that of truth and love. If I knew then what I know now, things may have been different. But I know God made everything for a place and purpose. Every event, every word, every song, every smile, every hug, and every death has a purpose. 

My only regret is I can't tell Elaine I’m sorry. I can't tell Elaine that I can help her. I can't tell her Jesus loves her, and God wants to restore her. I can’t tell her God has a plan for her life. I can't give a hug. I can't give a smile. I can't give a kiss. I can't even give a word of encouragement. Elaine is dead.  

Do you know an Elaine? Don't be so busy in your life that you can't call her. Don't be so busy you can't go to lunch with her. Don't be so busy you never hear her cry for help. I never heard her!  

I am forever grateful to have known Elaine. One of the greatest tragedies is the fact that she lived down by the lake for so many years and her cries were never heard. Elaine's pain died with her. I love you, Elaine.

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Elaine's Pain

The voice on the phone said, “Did you hear about Elaine?” I replied, “No, what happened?” She explained that Elaine had died and that she had committed suicide. My heart sank deep, and sadness prevailed over my countenance. My heart ached with pain, and to this day, I am still sad about the life of Elaine.

Elaine was a sweet girl. She was beautiful with long blonde hair and a perfect build. Yet as pretty as she was, she had some deep-rooted pain that would often come out of her. Her pain usually came out in the form of rage after a few drinks. Looking back now, I recognize the pain she was carrying around. We often talked, but she never revealed the root of her pain to me.

For Elaine, it began in high school, as it often does with teenagers. She was part of the smoking area crowd and ranked high in this group. Elaine was the one in the group that would call out anyone and say a few choice words to explain herself. But apart from that, she was as sweet and gentle as any one woman could ever be. Her smile was beautiful, and she attracted many of the guys in the group. One of them was my friend, David.

David and I lived at the boy’s home together; we were good friends and talked frequently about the issues of life. One hot summer’s night, David came to me and said he needed to talk to me. His voice was shaky, and I could tell something was eating him up. So, we went outside the cottage and sat against the house. The moon was riding high that night, and I still remember the heat of the bricks on my back; this was the side of the house the sun hit most of the day. We both sat down with our backs on the warm bricks. He asked me about marriage and babies—things that neither of us were well-versed in. It didn't take long before David told me what all the questions were for.

“Elaine is pregnant.” His voice was shaky and nervous. “What do I do?” he asked. The answers were not clear to either of us. We talked for several more hours, and he made a decision. David had to marry her; that was the only option, not because she was pregnant, but because he loved her. That was my only question to him. “Do you love her enough to marry her?” This I knew nothing about. Love to me was a distance word; my mom was the only one who had ever told me she loved me. Understanding the meaning of love was much too deep for me at the time. 

Before you go all judgmental on me, both David and I were in our late teens and had no idea of what life was. But like most teens, we thought we knew it all. I was proud that David trusted me enough to hold his story, a story that would rock the high school and all the families involved. I was careful to guard it and not tell anyone. Even to this day, only a few of my friends know this story. I am not even sure if my best friend, Amy, knows. We never talk about Elaine. 

David and Elaine married, and they had a son. This shook up the entire community in this small town. I was excited for David because he seemed to be happy. But inside, I think he was torn.  

As you would expect, the marriage didn't last long. Elaine ended up back at the lake, and David joined the Army, searching for a better life. He later remarried and then divorced again. 

David's pain was as deep as Elaine's. The root of his pain has never been addressed. He had only been treated for his symptoms, as we all had been back then. I was able to meet with David last year and talk about this deep-rooted pain that only Jesus can take away. We will hold David's story for another chapter. 

Elaine and I remained friends through this, and she would eventually move to our town and move in with us. We fell in love and planned on getting married, but the story would soon take a tragic turn. 

Before I go on to Chapter Two of Elaine's Pain, I feel led to ask a question to all who read this. What part of Elaine's pain are you carrying? I know you know a girl like Elaine—everyone does! Her pain is deep. Her laughter is sad. Her strength is weak. Her words are full, yet empty, and she is lost! Did you hear me? She is lost! Do you know her? Do you know where she is? Please find her and tell her Jesus loves her and wants to take her pain. Jesus is the only answer to our hurting and dying world.

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Down by The Lake

Psalm 36:5-6, 7-10 (MSG)
5-6 God's love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, his verdicts oceanic. Yet in his largeness nothing gets lost; Not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks.
7-9 How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we are to run under your wings, To eat our fill at the banquet you spread as you fill our tankards with Eden spring water. You're a fountain of cascading light, and you open our eyes to light.
10 Keep on loving your friends; do your work in welcoming hearts.

Before I publish my next series of stories, I need to set the scene for you. I want to take you to a time and a place where I didn't know the astronomical grace of God. We all have those points and places in our lives because none of us were born into the kingdom of God.

I need the above verses to guide me through the next series of stories. For so long I didn't know His plan. Looking back now, I can see what He was doing in my life. Some things are clear, and some are not so clear. The chapters in my life are being sorted and arranged in this book I have titled Down by The Lake. It deals with many of my innermost thoughts and the twisting turns in my life that have developed me into who I am today. 

  
For the past two years, I have been going to the lake to see myself as I once was and as I am today. As I look into the water each day, I see a reflection of myself, which is transparent, and at times, disturbed deep in my soul. God allowed me to travel the many highways and back roads of our great country to meet the most abused, forgotten, and hopeless people in America. I was allowed to bring a message of hope to these people through the ministry of In His Wakes with the support of my sweet wife, Lisa, and daughters, Sara and Laura. I could mention a host of others who have supported me through this, but the list would be long, and I am sure I would forget someone. My wife, Lisa, has seen me at my lowest points, and the rest of you have seen me at my highest points.

To make this clear, this book is not about the ministry of In His Wakes, but it details the way God used it in my life to bring an image to me of His greatness and the condition of real people in our land. Not only did I see myself in the water’s reflection each day, but at each event, I was able to look at myself and relive my childhood all over again. 

I have already written about some of these people, but some of them are still deep in my memory. It's my hope to introduce you to these people and the many who have crossed my path, even before In His Wakes. As I reflect on the events leading up to and before this ministry, I am reminded that it started at the water’s edge.

First at Kennedy Home, then the Haven House in Raleigh, NC, and then to the Boy’s Home at Lake Waccamaw, NC. These group homes, along with the many sessions in the "nut hut," would mold me into who I was and who I would turn out to be, or so I thought. The puzzle of my life was so scattered; it never seemed to fit the way I thought it should. Until one day I was introduced to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Jesus Christ. This journey has proven to be extremely difficult, but God is a God of truth and has never let me go. He has always held me tight, even in the most troubling circumstances. I am blessed to write about this great journey I have been on, and my journey is no way near finished. 

 
My plan is to write my story in chapters; they won't be in chronological order, but as God leads me, I will write and release them. I am not sure if the book will ever have an ending, but if it does, it will be a message of hope.

 
I will change the names of some people to protect their privacy and respect their families. It has taken me over two months to write this. I have several chapters in the works and will publish them here when I complete them. 

 
God allowed me to work with the most disadvantaged and hurting people in the world. People who have names but no addresses, faces but little hope, and fingerprints but no identity. In their eyes, I could see myself as I once was, which was the most haunting experience I could have ever imagined.  

I thank God for a loving family who has seen me come through this. To my wife Lisa, who has watched me cry for days and understands the agony I have gone through as I told some of the stories of my life. She has also watched me get so excited that I could hardly contain myself. To Sara and Laura, who were with me the whole way. I could not have made it this far without their love and the love of my wonderful wife.

I also thank God for my closest friends who supported me, even when they really didn't know. They showed me the love of Christ, and they were there in my darkest hours and in my brightest hours. They loved me then, and they love me today. I hope to mention them in the chapters to come. I learned through them that no matter what people do or who they are, they are still just people, all with a past and all with hurts and pain. We are all going in different directions, but we are all inching closer to death each day. This book will take you back to a period that most have forgotten. My intent is not to glorify this period but to give you some insight on what God has done in my life. In Psalm 36:5-6 (MSG), it says, “God's love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, his verdicts oceanic. Yet in his largeness nothing gets lost; Not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks.”

Can you get a hold of that? I had nothing to do with it; it was always God’s plan. Nothing is done in this universe without Him knowing. No thought, no idea, no touch, no hug, and no look goes without notice from our great God. So, for me to say my life has been bad would not be fair. It has been what it is; it has been what God planned.

I write with joy; I write with tears, and I write for the sake of others, hoping they will see there is hope.  

A great friend of mine once told me, "George, you can never quit.” I didn't understand then, but now I know what he was talking about. I can never quit! I can never quit telling my story; it has hope for a hopeless world; it has the Gospel of Jesus; and it has all the elements of His grace.
Let’s get into the stories and see what happened Down by The Lake! 

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