Monday, September 24, 2007

Elaine's Pain


The voice on the phone said, "did you hear about Elaine?" I replied "no, what happen", she continued to explain that Elaine had died, she had committed suicide. My heart sank deep and sadness prevailed my countenance. My heart ached with pain and to this day I am still sad about the life of Elaine.
Elaine was a sweet girl, she was very pretty with her long blonde hair and perfect build but yet as pretty as she was she had some deep rooted pain that would often come out of her. Her pain usually came our in the form of rage after a few drinks. Looking back now I can see the pain she was carrying around. We often talked but the root of her pain was never reveled to me.
For Elaine it began in high school as it does with most teens. She was part of the "smoking area" crowd and ranked high in this group. Elaine was the one in the group that would call out anyone at anytime. Saying a few choice words to explain herself, but away from that she was as sweet and gentle as any one woman could ever be. Her smile was beautiful and she attracted many of the guys in the group. One was a friend of mine. His name is David.
David and I lived at the boys home together, we were really good friends and talked a great deal about the issues of life. One hot summers night David came to me and said "I need to talk with you", his voice was shaky. I could tell something was eating him up. So we went outside the cottage and sat against the house. The moon was riding high that night and I still remember the heat of the bricks on my back as this was the side of the house the sun most of the day. We both sat down with our backs on the warm bricks. He started to ask these questions about marriage and babies, things that neither of us were well versed in. It didn't take long before David had told me what all the questions were for.
"Elaine is pregnant", his voice was shaky and nervous. "What do I?" he ask. The answers were not clear to either of us. We talked for several more hours and a decision was made. David had to marry her, that was the only option, being careful to say "not because she was pregnant but because he loved her. That was my only question to him. Do you love her enough to marry her? This I knew nothing about. Love to me was a distance word, my mom was the only one who had ever told me that she loved me, to understand what love was much to deep for me at the time.
Keep in mind before you go all judgmental on me, both David and I were in our late teens and had no idea of what life was about but like most teens thought we knew it all. I was proud that David entrusted me enough to hold his story, a story as you can guess would rock the high school and all of the families involved. I was careful to guard it and not tell anyone. Even to this day only a hand full know this story. I am not even sure if my best friend Amy knows. We never talk about Elaine.
David and Elaine married and they had a son. This rocked the entire community of this small town. I was excited for David, he seemed to be happy but inside I think he was torn.

As you would expect the marriage didn't last long. Elaine would end up back at the lake and David joined the Army searching for a better life. He later remarried and then divorced again.

You see David's pain was as deep as Elaine's. The root of his pain has never been addressed. He had only been treated for his symptoms as we all had been back then. The reason I know this is I was able to meet with David last year and talk about this deep rotted pain that only Jesus can take away. We will hold David's story for another chapter.

Elaine and I remained friends through this and she would eventually move to our town and move in with us. We fell in love and planned on getting married but the story would soon take a tragic turn.

Before I go on to Chapter Two of "Elaine's Pain" I feel lead to say to all who read this.

What part of Elaine's pain are you carrying? I know you know this girl, everyone does! Her pain is deep, her laughter is sad, her strength is weak , her words are full yet empty, she is lost! Did you hear me? She is lost! Do you know her? Do you know where she is? Please find her and tell her Jesus loves her and wants to take her pain. Jesus is the only answer to our hurting and dying world.



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